top of page
  • Writer's pictureEmily Garnham

Bust the jargon, cut the corporate speak and get to the point

Baffled by all this new-age business jargon? There's nothing more irksome than business idioms. Actually, there is, business idioms that are incorrectly used. Here's a useful corporate dictionary for the understandably confused.

These guys just love a standing meeting

Secret sauce = the thing that gives your business a competitive advantage that you'd rather keep close to your chest; sounds excitingly venereal to the foul minded

Non-hierarchical = everyone's a potential scapegoat

Collaboration = when the good carry the bad, and everyone gets the credit

Innovation = what we'd better be doing while we're playing ping pong and lounging on beanbags on company time

Standing meetings = because office space in Soho is £70 per square foot

BYOD (bring your own device) = no, your company won't be buying you a £749 iPhone X

Onboarding = someone take the new kid out for a sandwich, for god's sake

Unlimited annual leave = a new-age form of departmental peer pressure

Employee benefits = care about me as much as I do and I might stay longer

Employee engagement = a strategic display of emotional intelligence by the senior management team

Remote working = because sometimes I just want to do my job in a fleece onesie and not be judged

IM (instant messaging) = silent social skills killer

Ideate = If you ever find yourself typing this, just stop right there. Turn the computer off and go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

Corporate culture = strategic and collective effort to conceal our inner arsehole

Reach out = contact

Cascade = forward

Put a pin in it = that's up there with the worst idea you've ever had

Going forward = another way of saying 'in future' or 'from now on', because the two existing phrases weren't good enough

Wheelhouse = "That's not in my wheelhouse" = "I don't have a bloody clue"

"Well, that's a great question" = something said by Americans before answering every question ever asked

To suggest inclusions to Tartle's corporate jargon dictionary email

Subscribe to our blog and we'll do our very best to both amuse and inform you.

bottom of page